


.....well, better than the alternative

by trees_so_thin



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, bro i dont fucking know im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trees_so_thin/pseuds/trees_so_thin
Summary: if you fuck around with a friend and then get cut up when he wants to keep it secret, are you in love?
Relationships: Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	.....well, better than the alternative

**Author's Note:**

> "stop using will wood songs as titles" no  
> funny maplekeene fwb au that got really fucking sad on argo's part. i wrote the second part at 3am thats my excuse

“I’m bored.”  
Argo looked up from his book at the sound of Fitzroy’s voice and considered him for a moment. It was early evening, and they were alone in their dorm, but true, they hadn't been talking, merely in their own worlds reading, or in Fitzroy’s case, slowly picking the nailpolish off their fingernails in some semblance of an anxious tic.  
“Go and do something, then,” Argo suggested, turning a page and putting his attention back on the words.  
_-Larry the Lime picked up his sword and continued on to the-_  
“I SAID,” Fitzroy interjected pointedly, “I’m bored.”  
Argo fully knew what Fitzroy was getting at, but made a point of ignoring him. He got some sort of rush out of teasing the half elf, even if it was perhaps a little mean, but it was funny to see him get annoyed and start pushing for it.  
He wasn't going to give in to him that easily this time.  
“Well, maybe go and find out what Firby’s up to? He could give you some kind of... bark lesson, I don't know.”  
“N- I don’t WANT to talk to F-”  
“What was that?”  
Argo was smirking behind his book, still very specifically not looking at Fitzroy, trying to get him to admit to what he wanted to do. It was like quarrying prey down a hole. Tracking a deer through the forest silently.  
Argo was into it.

He allowed himself to sneak a look at Fitzroy out the corner of his eye, and saw his hair just a little on end with staticky magic and the glow of his face as he tried to work up to it.  
“DIdn’t realise I’d got you that flustered, Fitzboy.”  
The static grew stronger around Fitzroy, crackling and popping a little as visible sparks of lighting jumped off him.  
“I’m NOT flustered!”  
“You’re not? Then why are you so crackly? I can see when your magic does that thing and it only ever happens when you’re, like, highly emotional,” Argo said with a chuckle, almost breaking his stone faced act. He glanced over at the wall to check the time. Half an hour before the Firbolg came home from his visit to the stables.  
Either he hurries this up, or he makes it more of a slow burn. The latter would be more entertaining but would leave less time than he would be satisfied with. The former? He could have it over with right now but he really did want Fitzroy to initiate this time. Just for fun.  
Because Fitzroy never did.  
“I- well- you SEE, it’s just a highly- i don’t have THAT much control over it, and sometimes it just does that, it has nothing to do with my emotional state-”  
“Fitz,” Argo sighed, knowing if he kept playing like he was, they’d get nowhere, “just say it. Spit it out! Look me in the eye,” he turned to face him and finally put the book down on the arm of the couch, “and tell me what you want.”

Fitzroy flinched at Argo’s steely gaze, but swallowed his pride and returned the stare. Usually he didn’t have much trouble speaking his mind or asking for things, but in this situation it was different. He didn’t want to admit to deriving pleasure from it, and coming out and asking for it was essentially broadcasting to both himself and Argo how he felt. It was easier to stay detached and let Argo be the one who started it, like he always had, ever since this whole mess began weeks ago. Not that it was a mess, per se, but the situation in Fitzroy’s head regarding it was a bit of one. He wasn't going to address the ...excitement? nervousness? ….. attraction…? he felt sometimes looking at Argo, deep down in the bottom of his gut.

It’s just a side effect, he kept telling himself. You…… kiss a guy consistently for that long and of course you’ll start to feel SOMETHING weird when you look at him. This happens to everyone.  
How many people kiss their friends like that?  
It didn't matter. Just say it.

“I… Argo, will y- no, wait. Uh, Ar- fuck.”  
“Take your time,” Argo said under his breath, just loud enough so that Fitzroy could hear. Somehow they had inched closer to each other on the couch, within hand-touching distance. Argo touched a fingertip to the back of Fitzroy’s hand and felt sparks conduct up his always semi-wet skin before he felt Fitzroy flinch. “Don’t bother with fancy words, just tell me what you want.”  
Trying to not get any more wound up than he already was (he felt like a rubber band wrapped too many times around one of those spinning tops made with a pencil and empty spool. A band that would snap if the top was released to spin), Fitzroy centered himself for a moment and closed his eyes.  
“Look at me.”  
Pushing back against the waves in his stomach at Argo’s low, lilting voice, he opened his eyes again, defocusing his gaze - it was the only way he was going to be able to do this if he had to look at him while he was doing it.  
Fitzroy took a deep breath and spoke the magic words.  
“Argo, can you kiss me?”  
A sharp, sly grin slid across Argo’s face, and he knelt up, Fitzroy’s face suddenly in his hands, Fitzroy’s arms around his waist, Fitzroy’s mouth on his.  
The benefits side of being friends with benefits was pretty sweet.  
Even if they did only have 20 minutes before the Firbolg came home.

2.

5:34.  
Two minutes until Firbolg was scheduled to return, bearing the smell of the straw from the stables and perhaps something he picked up for dinner. He always came back at the same time (internal clock?) and they knew that, but this time they were a little too deep to realise how close they were cutting it.  
Fitzroy had Argo up against the wall.  
And that was all he was going to say about that.

Rainer usually sent a few of her little skeleton animal pals out in front of her wherever she went. For one thing, she wanted to make sure nothing dangerous was ahead (chairs, however magical, have a wide turning circle; so she wanted to be able to get away easily and with warning), and for another, she was perhaps just a little nosy. She was a villain, after all. Nothing wrong with a little espionage.  
Firbolg was taking her along with him as he trudged back home, hoping a visit from another friend would calm the vague animosity he had been feeling from Argo and Fitzroy lately. Not animosity towards him- they were always kind to him- but a tension towards each other, one that felt distinctly angry to the Firbolg’s mind. He didn't want his friends to be angry at each other. So, therefore, a visit from Rainer seemed in order.  
She always cheered them up, didn't she?  
“Are you……..okay with coming in?” he asked her cautiously as they entered the building. She looked at him quizzically.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I…..do not know. Sometimes…..it is……..tense,” Firbolg hesitated, suddenly unsure of his decision. Maybe Rainer wouldn't enjoy hanging out with them. Maybe Argo and Fitzroy wouldn't want Rainer around. Maybe he was wrong. “Oh no.”  
“Aw, it's okay, Buddy!” Rainer said softly. “Look, I’ll send my little rat out and just see what the mood is, okay? Will that help? I’m sure they’ll be happy to see us.”  
Firbolg nodded, still nervous, and Rainer fished out a rat skeleton from one of the mysterious compartments all over her chair, gave it a kiss, and watched as it quickly came to life with a purple glow.  
“Go to the boys’ room,” she ordered it, and threw it into the air, where it hovered for a second before touching down on the ground and scuttling away up the stairs.

The rat scratched at the door.  
Fitzroy heard it immediately, his perceptive ears picking up the tiny, sharp sound even over his own heavy breathing and the beat of his heart. The beat of Argo’s heart.  
_Shit._  
He immediately pulled his head back and tried to move away from Argo and unpin him from the wall, but Argo, apparently not aware of imminent danger, moaned a complaint and pulled him back into the kiss, his fingers gently combing through Fitzroy’s hair.  
“No- idiot- stop”  
“What-- why-”  
“RAINER’S AT THE FUCKING DOOR, _DICKWEED,_ GET OFF ME!”  
Argo released his grip on Fitzroy with a panicked gasp and Fitzroy fell to the floor, overbalanced now that he wasn't being held up by Argo’s arms.  
“Act normal,” he hissed, trying to smooth down his hair (prickly from magic static) and looking around for where his glasses had been discarded earlier. Argo tried to nod, but found himself frozen in place with anxiety. Usually he was good at pretending everything was fine, but Fitzroy acted like keeping this secret was such a big deal to him and the pressure of not fucking that up kept him pinned to the wall.  
That and the residual pleasant turmoil in his stomach from being able to kiss Fitzroy so deeply and for so long.  
Not like he had feelings or anything.  
It was just for fun.  
“Get your fucking act together,” Fitzroy snapped, finally locating his glasses and stalking off into his bedroom, presumably to compose himself for some fancy entrance when Rainer actually came in.  
Argo’s knees went weak and he crouched down with his back against the wall.

Rainer decided she had seen enough.  
“It’s okay,” she declared, mentally calling the rat back to her, and turning to the Fitbolg with a grin. “I think they’re fine.”  
“Not…. fighting? Or anything like that?”  
“Oh, no,” Rainer smirked. “The opposite, in fact.”  
She chuckled to herself. The Firbolg didn’t need to know, but she had something to hang over Fitzroy’s head now when she next wanted him to do something for her. Not in a malicious way, she was a soft villain, but certainly in a I’ve-got-dirt-on-you way. She knew he would probably hate knowing that she knew something about him that he wanted to keep secret, and that was funny to her. Especially due to Fitzroy’s general demeanour, always strutting around trying to make himself seen.  
He did seem really into it, though.  
Firbolg wasn’t sure what Rainer was talking about, but assumed that “the opposite of fighting” was simply…. not fighting, and that was good enough for him to not feel worried about going in anymore.  
“Do you still have…..the bread?”  
Rainer held up the loaf she had bought for the Firbolg earlier.  
“Dinner’s in the bag, Bud. No need to worry.”

Everytime Fitzroy’s elbow touched him Argo jumped.  
This table was not made for four people to sit at, and even less for three people and one massive firbolg. Thus, Argo and Fitzroy were kind of squished together, and every movement Fitzroy made to cut his food up managed to brush past Argo somehow. And usually Argo would not complain about that, but having to pretend he didn't feel like electricity had shocked him with every small contact (although maybe that was just Fitzroy’s magic again) was proving to be extremely difficult for him.  
Although, if Rainer was at the door, and Fitzroy heard her, then why did they have to lie? Surely she already knew?  
It wasn't like they were doing anything illegal. Or even embarrassing. People hook up casually all the time.  
But obviously it was a big deal to Fitzroy, what with his obsession with his social standing and all.  
_I guess he doesn't want people to think he’s weird,_ Argo thought, trying to turn his attention back on his meal (pointedly avoiding the bread, even though he had supposedly gotten over those nightmares he had about hardtack. Sometimes shit runs deep). _Maybe it IS weird. I wouldn’t know. I’m just an idiot._  
He stared at his plate for a good few seconds, realising he’d made himself sad again, and slowly excused himself from the table to retreat to the bedroom he shared with the Firbolg.  
Fitzroy made a point of not looking at him as he left.  
Argo felt shamed to the core.  
_I’ve done something wrong._  
He sat down on the floor at the foot of his bed and carefully found the burn mark over his heart that Fitzroy had accidentally given him out of surprise the first time they….. decided to take the “friends with benefits” thing seriously. The skin was still raw and puckered, the scales around it flaking away, but Argo didn't care.  
It was a part of Fitzroy that belonged to him.  
A part of him that belonged to Fitzroy.  
Something permanent.

_Maybe I do love him a little._

He shook his head at himself.

_No. I just want to feel like I belong to something. With someone._

_…..  
I adore him._

Argo wasn’t ever going to tell him that.  
Fitzroy had made his feelings on the situation clear more than enough times.  
They were fucking around, nothing more, nothing less. Purely for pleasure and profit. No feelings involved.  
Thinking with your dick, so to speak.  
Argo was thinking with his heart.

The tears rolling down his face were hot and wet.  
The heat reminded him of Fitzroy, and that made him cry more, slowly sinking into a foetal position on the floor.  
He didn't move for a while.

The soft clink of tableware came from the other side of the door.


End file.
